Today, I was overwhelmed with a flood (*no pun intended) of thoughts as I walked along the shore of the never-ending, all consuming ocean. I was, as usual, blown away. As I walked and walked (and became more and more windblown) I continued to think of life, and how beautiful it truly is. Then I became consumed with the ocean and consumed of the many metaphors my mind automatically ran to.
Last week, I was stuck at home. Completely miserable. Stuck with some kind of horrendous bug. One of my friends was over and I said that I wanted to go somewhere...she asked where and I said the ocean. Then of course she retorted with the fact that it was a completely unreasonable thought and to think of somewhere new. But, you see, that's where I really, truly, and with all of my heart, wanted to go...just to the ocean. The ocean represents so much and when I feel completely void of pure and real Love, unbelievably weighted down and blinded from what life truly is...my thought is to go...and see this vastly incredible, completely inconceivable and ceaseless place. A place of peace unimaginable. A place of many metaphors.
How great is the ocean? You can see the beginning but never even imagine of seeing the end. You can choose to submerge yourself in it and venture out into the great unknown, the insane mystery that lies beneath its surface...Or you can simply gaze at its waters in adoration and longing. You see the waves. They always come. You can never stop them. Instead, you are left, with no control. They will come and quickly roll over and over, whether you decide to go in or not. The waves will always come and they will...without fail....always go. If you are out by the oceans edge for long enough, you will submit to this conclusion and, as you submerge yourself in it, you will realize just how powerful these rolls of water really are. Not only will you see the power but you witness the danger. The waves are not the only threatening part, it is also what lies beneath the them. You must admit to yourself that you really, have no clue as to what is swimming around at your ankles. You must overcome any fear.
How great is His Love for us? Oh, with Jesus' love, it never ends. While, yes, we all do know that the ocean DOES, in fact, have an ending...The King of the Universe is left to be a mystery. He gives us the choice to simply adore his love from afar and never dare to enter or to jump full fledged into it. If you decide to not advance into the water, you will, without a doubt, miss out on the great adventure of this crazy, indescribable love... But with His immense grace Jesus will patiently wait for you to leap into his risky but oh-so-worth-it waters. He will always be there waiting just for you. The waves of life do come and they reveal just how unpredictable life is...but under the surface of His love He has a plan. Just for you. A plan that must be submitted to and acknowledged. A plan that requires you to let fear go and, instead, for you to surrender to an all-knowing God.
So, God really did bless me today. He granted my wish..that I had wished a week ago. I saw the ocean, today. And now, as I gaze up at the stars I realize that no matter where I go...I can, not for one moment, ever escape His Love. It is everywhere. I see His sunset and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Jesus who died for your sins, died for mine too. I also know that the reason He died is so that I could be submerged, without fear, into the grandeur of His Love. I am in absolute, perfect need of this love.
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Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Be My EVERYTHING....Be My Delight!
I have this obsessive nature where I become SO enamored by a song that I will listen to it over and over...over and over. The oddest thing is that every time I turn it on again something new grips at my heart, be it a set of beautiful words matched together perfectly to inflict incredible emotion of me, the listener, or even a chord that hits that instrument so splendidly that it becomes almost bewitching. Mostly, these songs aren't exactly what's on the radio...they are usually hymns.
I remember sitting in a Sunday service one morning thinking that I hated hymns, they were dull and boring. As I grow in my walk and in life I realize that I think the complete opposite, now. Recently, my obsession has been...Be Thou My Vision.
So, just listen to this song...praise Jesus. He is the only one who deserves your gifts and talents. He is the only one worthy of your voice, your life and your worship, in every way shape and form.
I remember sitting in a Sunday service one morning thinking that I hated hymns, they were dull and boring. As I grow in my walk and in life I realize that I think the complete opposite, now. Recently, my obsession has been...Be Thou My Vision.
So, just listen to this song...praise Jesus. He is the only one who deserves your gifts and talents. He is the only one worthy of your voice, your life and your worship, in every way shape and form.
How Can I Obtain It?
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." 2 Corinthians 1
This verse came alive to my soul in August when Hope Reins of Raleigh opened it's doors to the hopeless and hurting. Those that felt unloved, unworthy and alone...those who struggled with life and were having a difficult time living it. I am at a loss for words trying to explain this place to you... This place where my heart and soul came alive and where children's lives are completely changed, where my life was completely changed. This place where my mind is peaceful and my thoughts are focused, a place solely for worship. Worship to this mighty God by loving his people. To see with eyes that understand, to touch with hands that convey gentleness, to laugh with genuine joy, to run with positive and freeing energy, to walk with a Graceful God who died for my sins. Here, God's plan of giving me a heart for his people was taken to an extreme...an extreme, unrealistic and mysterious love. A love that could overlook everything and anything.
It was absolutely insane to think of how I would react to the things these children had been through...these young men and young women. Girls who had been through extreme situations and poured their hearts out to me...how would I react to this? Would I be angry, sad or upset? Confused, heartbroken, worried? There was just no telling until it all unfolded. I can't even explain JUST how incredible the times of "heart-pouring" was...intense, but, oh, so, beautiful. They were the very essence of my Savior's POWER.
Jesus, is so miraculous and tender. He patiently walks along side of me, not only during the times when others are struggling but also when I am struggling. Not only is he perfect during those times but he is gentle, loving and patient to see the process through... It is such a comforting feeling to know that if all else fails---there will alway be Jesus. No matter who leaves me---there will always be Jesus. It doesn't depend on how awful, wretched I am because--- there will.. always.. be Jesus. When everything I could possibly "offer" to Him leaves me---He will still always be who He has said He is...Jesus. HIS promises never fail me...HIS love never leaves me...HIS words never sting me... HE is always truthful, always satisfying. He is not only enough for my soul but He is MORE than I could ever possibly think of asking for, better than anything that I could ever be offered and more beautiful than anyone could ever be in my heart.
One morning a long while ago my Jesus offered me these words from John 13:34b, "Just as I have love you, you must also love each other." How does one LOVE? What does it truly mean? Does the world even know what TRUE love really is. The truth is...the love that Jesus has called me to is perfect because it is His love. I attempt to follow this command, but often fail. I know that one day, Jesus will complete me, and then, only then, this love that I so passionately yearn to give, i will have. Until then, I only witness little glimpses of it.
This verse came alive to my soul in August when Hope Reins of Raleigh opened it's doors to the hopeless and hurting. Those that felt unloved, unworthy and alone...those who struggled with life and were having a difficult time living it. I am at a loss for words trying to explain this place to you... This place where my heart and soul came alive and where children's lives are completely changed, where my life was completely changed. This place where my mind is peaceful and my thoughts are focused, a place solely for worship. Worship to this mighty God by loving his people. To see with eyes that understand, to touch with hands that convey gentleness, to laugh with genuine joy, to run with positive and freeing energy, to walk with a Graceful God who died for my sins. Here, God's plan of giving me a heart for his people was taken to an extreme...an extreme, unrealistic and mysterious love. A love that could overlook everything and anything.
It was absolutely insane to think of how I would react to the things these children had been through...these young men and young women. Girls who had been through extreme situations and poured their hearts out to me...how would I react to this? Would I be angry, sad or upset? Confused, heartbroken, worried? There was just no telling until it all unfolded. I can't even explain JUST how incredible the times of "heart-pouring" was...intense, but, oh, so, beautiful. They were the very essence of my Savior's POWER.
Jesus, is so miraculous and tender. He patiently walks along side of me, not only during the times when others are struggling but also when I am struggling. Not only is he perfect during those times but he is gentle, loving and patient to see the process through... It is such a comforting feeling to know that if all else fails---there will alway be Jesus. No matter who leaves me---there will always be Jesus. It doesn't depend on how awful, wretched I am because--- there will.. always.. be Jesus. When everything I could possibly "offer" to Him leaves me---He will still always be who He has said He is...Jesus. HIS promises never fail me...HIS love never leaves me...HIS words never sting me... HE is always truthful, always satisfying. He is not only enough for my soul but He is MORE than I could ever possibly think of asking for, better than anything that I could ever be offered and more beautiful than anyone could ever be in my heart.
One morning a long while ago my Jesus offered me these words from John 13:34b, "Just as I have love you, you must also love each other." How does one LOVE? What does it truly mean? Does the world even know what TRUE love really is. The truth is...the love that Jesus has called me to is perfect because it is His love. I attempt to follow this command, but often fail. I know that one day, Jesus will complete me, and then, only then, this love that I so passionately yearn to give, i will have. Until then, I only witness little glimpses of it.
Friday, November 12, 2010
.TRUST.and.OBEY.
So, here I sit-on my bed, in my pjs, with teeth brushed, fuzzy socks on, and retainer in place- it's nine o'clock on a friday night. This is, in fact, not my usual routine... but it is an OH so welcomed break and a chance to write. To write my blurred thoughts and allow them to be made more clear...
First, a song that has continuously come in to my head. Do you remember that old hymn that was sung in sunday school? "trust and obey, oh, trust and obey! for, there is NO other way...to be happy...IN JESUS!!! but to TRUST.and.OBEY!" yes, this song-- the song I sang just to join in with my classmates, to plainly ring the tune, loud and clear for many years of my childhood--brought on a whole new meaning this week. Oddly, those two, simple yet profound, intimidating but so useful words rang in my meditative head, over and over. God, in His ever so omnipotent cleverness, placed them there for a reason. A clear and undeniable instruction... one that, in my stupidity, I had run from many months, not in full, but, nonetheless, I WAS yet disobedient and untrusting. Instead of trusting and placing my life minutely in His wonderfully loving hands, I gripped and tugged in back into my own possession. I decided to trust myself and make my own (scary) plans--now, granted these weren't bad plans but, since they were obviously not GOD'S plans, they, consequently, would not be the BEST that He already has prepared for me-- ones that will only prosper me.
These were NOT easy to give up. In fact--and I suppose oddly enough--were a struggle to place in his AWEsome power. To acknowledge that He, and only Him, knows the college I will attend, the people I will impact, the ministries that will be placed in my life, the husband I will marry, the place I will live... in total, the plan for my life.
ah, but you see, that is the exact problem. it is NOT my life. but, in fact, it is His. In His humble love and mercy, He allows me to return to Him what is already HIS! Is that not just a remarkable thought? A thought of such hope and utter humility? it has truly persisted to humble me the more I reflect upon it. amazing.
As I wait in thorough anticipation to watch my life unfold, I have come to the immense realization that I MUST --without holding anything back-- TRUST.and.OBEY the Creator the universe...the One who loves me oh, so very much.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
So, I don't think I've written anything in the past months besides research papers and essays. that being said...I'm not completely confident I know how to write MY own thoughts any more...but I will definitely try.
You know what has been consuming my thoughts lately, what has deeply troubled my heart, and makes me feel far, far away? Idolatry and then, Truth. These two completely opposite words have been challenging me beyond words.
First, I think I should start with Idolatry- it has completely surrounded my life. To be frank and honest, I never saw how much had creeped in that was taking away from God's glory. I was so blinded by these sins that I was used to them...isn't it scary when that happens? it scares me when there were things between my Savior and I that I didn't even realize...or notice. rude awakening! all i can think is~ how hurtful! i mean, doesn't it just kill you when someone says over and over what they'll do for you but they always fail to do it? that's what it's like with us and God. We're constantly telling him how we will change our ways, come closer to him, lay down our burdens, ect. but then we fail and forget to follow through. i know that i just get wrapped up in the world and forget... i forget that Jesus is there waiting for me. he actually waits for ME...and he waits patiently. arg. so if only things would just be perfect already and i would have the relationship i long to have with my Savior..flawless. when will that day come?
Second...Truth. What's even worse than the Idolatry all around us is the complete and utter lack of truth. People don't even know how to give a definition for the word. tragic, to say the least. It's tragic that Creation doesn't even know what the Creator came for...
" I was born and came into the world to testify to truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true." ~John 18:37
As I began to take my stance on how terrible it was that people didn't know an unwavering definition for truth i took a look at my "definition" and there realized i was a hypocrite and couldn't give that kind of definition either. now, isn't that insanely troubling? So, think. If we are here to represent Christ in everything we do, yet, we have no idea what the never-changing always consistent definition of truth is and Jesus came to be THE truth and testify to truth then how can we be what we are supposed to be and be it well? you can read that major run-on question again if you like....its a toughy, isn't it?
at the end of my thoughts i found my definition: Jesus.
Jesus is the only Truth and what he says is truth (like he, himself explains). Thankfully, God's word never changes and it...is Truth. So, there i go! an unwavering definition of truth.
Unfortunately, world doesn't take too kindly to that definition...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
O how he loves....
1) I wanted to say I'm so sorry it has been SO SO SO long. I just haven't known what to say..until now. :)
2) What's been absolutely intriguing to me today has been this God... Who is SO, indescribably big and His incredibly wordless artwork.. I would really like to share it with you
First... this is our planet EARTH. You know those days when you think "o,well its just another day." I would like to interject with FALSE! The earth is moving at one THOUSAND miles per an hour. That alone makes it completely unordinary.. but if you just take.a.look.around. If you just take a moment to see the glorious rays of sun beaming through the stunningly green leaves on the forest of trees surrounding you. Or if you take a glimpse at the contrast between the green grass and blue sky...that aren't really even those colors. Or how just seeing someone burst out in laughter...how can you not laugh too?
ONE THOUSAND lite years AWAY from our earth is the whole Milky Way Galaxy.. Look, can you even see the sun? Somewhere in there..in that beautiful mess.. is Earth. Do you see how BIG my God is? But wait...he gets EVEN bigger.
About 23 million lite years away is this.. This is the Whirlpool Galaxy and its something that has touched me and brought me to tears ever since a saw it a few years ago. Isnt this just the most stunning thing you have ever seen? Is His love just not incredible? I can just see God (at least this is how I envision it :)) waiting up in heaven saying.. you think that's beautiful wait, see what I have next for you to see. How MIGHTY is HE? How romantic? How moving? How inspiring? He just is.... and He LOVES us... The one who made these hugely mouth dropping things chooses to love us wee lil things.
He just wants us.. He wants us to follow Him and only Him. He wants us to choose to love Him back. He wants us to have a REAL relationship with Him. mmmm, Just stop and think. Think about his glory..soak yourself in it. Its good for the soul :)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Hasta Pronto....
For the past two weeks I've been in Antigua, Guatemala.... stunning. The first week was incredible and all was amazing but a new team flew in this Sunday (the old one flew out and my mom and I with a few other friends stayed) and I kid you not... this was one of the most impactful weeks of my life. I've never not wanted to go home SO badly. For once in my life, I sincerely don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words. Buuuut, for your sake- I'll try.
The kids- o, how can I capture a picture of their beauty? Their joy is just IMENSE. Its absolutely, just insane to see the stunning smiles of these children. These children who just happen to have no-thi-ng. Not just the kind of nothing we would say in the US.. I mean nothing. Nothing as in they have so much nothingness that they haven't eaten in weeks. That makes me want to just rot. OOO!!!! But, how they can smile! A smile that says "its okay." "look! Now, I AM eating..and thats all that matters." Every moment my heart was stolen, again. Constantly there was something to laugh about or smile about. JUST INCREDIBLE.
I don't want to get on that plane tomorrow morning and leave this place...this home.
My new familia- 5 days... 5 days is all it took to be seen, understood... loved. Is it possible to actually "get" people after such a short amount of time and to be "gotten"? I never thought so... let me enlighten you now on my new view. When Jesus Christ is the first thing you find in common with someone, the first thing you get to talk about and the reason you even had met each other its like you automatically have a breath-taking bond. To deeply love people you know deeply love you is something that really is breath-taking. and O! The laughing. We were complete maniacs --- and i wouldn't want it ANY other way. So many memories but you know what I found resounding in my head? "Anna, isn't it so hard to love? Isn't it hard to put your heart out there to people who you won't be with again?" the answer was... 100% yes. It is so hard. But, I never come back empty handed. To have an easy love for people and MY Lord is worth it, tenfold.
I don't want to go "home". Nope, I sure don't. Its totally true... I have never NOT wanted to leave somewhere so badly. I adore it here- completely and utterly. It's so---- easy here. SO durn easy. When do I get to say life is easy? Isn't the saying "life's hard"? Well, here, at this moment, right now, its easy. It's NOT comfortable but its sooooo easy! Am I being redundant? The reason I think its so easy is because it simple (thought I'd bring a synonym in there for you). I am here, out of my zone, serving MY Lord with these incredible people. How much better does it get? Not much...
Just thought I'd give you guys a heads-up on my approaching depression (: I might be needing some chocolate- hint, hint. OR a ticket to Guat... Actually, both of those are a joke. But there is something I would like to ask you to do. Something I've never asked for before but I just really feel the need for it. Would you pray for me? Would you please beg God to give me strength, endurance and joy? and most of all, Would you pray that Jesus will change me? that he will change me to be the person he plans for me to be.
~Update~
(in case the spelling is horrible.. i have an excuse. The spell check here is only for Spanish..so, forgive me if there are misspellings.)
Friday, July 2, 2010
what to say?
you know what I despise? do you know what I desperately want to take away? what kills me, deeply, all over again every time I come into contact with it? pain... o, how it hurts me. yet, it surrounds me. everywhere. echoing. do tears even offer relief? i want to cry all.the.stinkin.time.
im sorry for your pain dear friends... i am truly sorry. my heart aches ridiculously for you- you will never, ever, ever, ever know. not ever.
im sorry for your pain dear friends... i am truly sorry. my heart aches ridiculously for you- you will never, ever, ever, ever know. not ever.
Monday, June 21, 2010
You!....you HYPOCRITE!
Pride. Selfishness. I have found that these are symptoms of a hypocrite... and you know what else? Those two things are something I struggle with enormously. Wow. Now, that's hard to write. What kind of Christ-follower am I if the main word in my vocabulary is I?
Acknowledging that I am a hypocrite isn't as hard as looking at the past where I felt I WASN'T one. I found that constantly, repeatedly.. my actions weren't to glorify my Savior, my God. No, instead I sought recognition and happiness. I'm pretty sure, or positive, that those two combined are the complete and utter opposite of what a servant is called to do and be. Recently, I have completely ignored the Holy Spirit. That's another extremely hard thing to write. Ignoring the Spirit given to me by my Lord- How dare I? I shouldn't even have second thoughts when I'm told to be obedient to the God of the Universe....but I didn't think twice I just said no.
My broken heart. My giant mess-ups. Jesus wants them.
Dearest Readers, I was also thinking... How possible is it that you are a hypocrite, also? Is it that we, who are leaders in so many places, us, who desire to "live" for Christ, have horribly stained motives? How can we return to the JOYfilled hearts of TRUE servants of a people that want so strongly pursue Jesus? Humility? put my pride on the ground. Honesty? the lies of my works. Brokenness? only our Creator can make us whole, know that. I think I need to remember that He has to SAVE me.
For I am 100% unable.
Acknowledging that I am a hypocrite isn't as hard as looking at the past where I felt I WASN'T one. I found that constantly, repeatedly.. my actions weren't to glorify my Savior, my God. No, instead I sought recognition and happiness. I'm pretty sure, or positive, that those two combined are the complete and utter opposite of what a servant is called to do and be. Recently, I have completely ignored the Holy Spirit. That's another extremely hard thing to write. Ignoring the Spirit given to me by my Lord- How dare I? I shouldn't even have second thoughts when I'm told to be obedient to the God of the Universe....but I didn't think twice I just said no.
My broken heart. My giant mess-ups. Jesus wants them.
Dearest Readers, I was also thinking... How possible is it that you are a hypocrite, also? Is it that we, who are leaders in so many places, us, who desire to "live" for Christ, have horribly stained motives? How can we return to the JOYfilled hearts of TRUE servants of a people that want so strongly pursue Jesus? Humility? put my pride on the ground. Honesty? the lies of my works. Brokenness? only our Creator can make us whole, know that. I think I need to remember that He has to SAVE me.
For I am 100% unable.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Meaningless? EVERYthing meaningless?
Solomon...was SO wise! But in his book, Ecclesiastes, I was troubled. Solomon (teacher) starts off with "Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!" Do you think he could have said meaningless again? BUT, to Solomon everthing was sincerely "hebel" --- brief, empty. i was imensely saddened to think that i was reading God's Word and it was saying that EVERYthing was meaningless. However many wise things were said and all the philosophical quandries were completely over-rided by the thought drifting.. is everything truly and honestly meaningless?? every pleasure... everything? its ALL nothing...? hmmm?
Throughout the whole book this depressing word continues to ring..and ring. Passionately, he rages about issues with intense thought and wisdom. But I cant help to wonder- how can you live life with that kind of perspective? To me, many things contain incredible meaning and to tell you the truth, I think I was becoming defensive to the words written on the pages of my Bible. My mind was saying how can you be telling me to live knowing all is worth nothing? But then! Alas, comes the conclusion (: Ecclesiastes is ended on a rather magnifiscent note...
Throughout the whole book this depressing word continues to ring..and ring. Passionately, he rages about issues with intense thought and wisdom. But I cant help to wonder- how can you live life with that kind of perspective? To me, many things contain incredible meaning and to tell you the truth, I think I was becoming defensive to the words written on the pages of my Bible. My mind was saying how can you be telling me to live knowing all is worth nothing? But then! Alas, comes the conclusion (: Ecclesiastes is ended on a rather magnifiscent note...
"Now that all has been heard;
here is the conclusion on the matter:
Fear the Lord and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man."
Could it possibly be that Solomon found everything was meaningless withOUT God? Maybe during the time he had strayed away from his loving Savior he found that without God and his beautiful love and mercy-- no without God in general he really,truly is nothing. How harsh but what an insane truth. Isnt it just so humbling to think that you are nothing unless you have something.. but that you are everything if you do? I think so...
P.s. Extra Credit Reading (JUST KIDDING! but if you do have extra time on your hands...it won't be wasted:) Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (There is a season for everyyything. What a relief!) Ecclesiastes 5:7 (totally convicted... how many times am I talking to just talk instead of being in COMPLETE AWE of God?) Ecclesiastes 7:10 (mmmm.. freedom :) Ecclesiastes 7:13-14, Ecclesiastes 8:8 (our days are numbered. how do you live everyday like it truly could be the last?) Ecclesiastes 8:17 (how fantastic to never be in control? I love how we think we know but really, we never do. its like God saying just let it go.. how humorous of Him!) Well, that turned out to be more than i thought but seriously this book amazes me... to study it is rather impactful.
*Update*
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Thanksgiving!
Thank you my Lord for your... love. compassion. trials that lead to perserverence. hope. healing. suffering. sacrificing. thank you Jesus for your incredible mercy. tender leading. the grace you give. all-knowingness. life. power. breathe. Father, i thank you for the little blessings you give- friends. freedom. water... food (:. encouraging words. the ability to dance... in the rain. travel. For everything YOU have created. trees. sunflowers. the stars in the sky and grass to lay on. cold winter nights. toasty fires to sit next to. Lover of My Life- you give me simple joys. roasting marshmellows. places for thought. adventure. warm chocolate chip cookies. laughing.
~My soul sings to you Lord. Through everything you are here... here with me, here with us. I cant wait to be with you one day (: -
**Update**
~My soul sings to you Lord. Through everything you are here... here with me, here with us. I cant wait to be with you one day (: -
**Update**
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
~Eloah~
Tonight was a night where I just overwhelmingly came before God so discouraged that I was unable, imperfect. Many life situations have been coming up- and for some reason God has given me eyes that see. They see the hurt, pain- awful things…things that break my heart. Honestly, Jesus Christ is the One who has broken my heart. Down trodden, gloomy and downright sad I came to Jesus Christ’s throne room. I touched the curtain he tore for me, in order for ME to come and talk to HIM. I admitted my devastated and crushed emotions and He showed me this-
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-4
He talks. He cares. He loves- O, how He loves. So, Dear Friends- if you are heavy laden and burdened….come lay it before the throne of the God who comforts. Not only does he comfort but he does so in order that WE may have the strength to comfort others. This verse just felt like a battery charger for me. To know that the Lord comforts me so that I may comfort others gives me peace… He always does provide.
“Lay your worries before Me…for I love you.”
~Update~
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-4
He talks. He cares. He loves- O, how He loves. So, Dear Friends- if you are heavy laden and burdened….come lay it before the throne of the God who comforts. Not only does he comfort but he does so in order that WE may have the strength to comfort others. This verse just felt like a battery charger for me. To know that the Lord comforts me so that I may comfort others gives me peace… He always does provide.
“Lay your worries before Me…for I love you.”
~Update~
Thursday, May 20, 2010
~Unmistakably Beautiful~
Here I am in Oregon. Its gorgeous here. It's an escape... a breather. A break from my busy life. I am completely and utterly being refreshed and my soul.. it is well. Its so interesting what sticks out to you. Usually when I go into things I already feel like I know what will impact or move my heart...however, this time I've been very wrong.
The horse property we've been spending our time on is breath-taking...serene. Its really just a place of God. A place of beauty! The classes have been amazing- truly encouraging. BUT the most touching part was this woman. She is truly beautiful. You know you must think I'm a freak for saying that but God has just laid beauty on my heart. Ha, some of you have heard my, "everyone is beautiful" shpeel but recently God has changed that into... I can be beautiful. Not the beautiful of the world.. Im talking the beautiful of God.
The thing is.. This lady's beauty wasnt just something that I saw- its something EVERYone saw. She shines from the inside and it makes her positively radiant on the outside. The vulnerability she has to offer is astounding. Her truly feminine heart, touching.
Why are women these days so closed off? Why am I afraid to be vulnerable? Dont we know that WE were made in the image of the GOD of the UNIVERSE? If we were made in his image than how, HOW can we not know how incredible it is to be who he created us to be? soft, sweet, endearing, kind, yet on fire, passionate, loving... impactful.
Just a few weeks ago I really drew myself in for some reason. I didnt stop being real I just feel like I stopped being vulnerable. You see, when you live in a state of vulnerability your constantly aware of an attack. The enemy can attack your heart, your soul, and definitely your mind. He did mine... and I had to repent from that. How many opportunities did I loose because I didnt trust HIM to protect me? I was truly caught up in MYself... but through that I wasnt at peace because I wasnt being who God, Himself, calls me to be.
I really feel like this was God's gift to me... O, I am SO thankful he's here to guide my path! To show me it OK to cry when something touches your heart- tears of joy or tears of sorrow. Its OK to humbly kneel before your God even though your thoughts are "what will they think of me?". Its OK... to follow the Spirit. I think that each one of us who has the Holy Spirit is probed by Him differently, and that is amazing! but I think true beauty remains the same no matter what. I think that when you see someone who you know is walking humbly with their God and kneeling worshipingly (go ahead and add that one to my dictionary too) before his AWEsome throne- I think THAT is what is captivating and THAT is unmistakably beautiful.
The horse property we've been spending our time on is breath-taking...serene. Its really just a place of God. A place of beauty! The classes have been amazing- truly encouraging. BUT the most touching part was this woman. She is truly beautiful. You know you must think I'm a freak for saying that but God has just laid beauty on my heart. Ha, some of you have heard my, "everyone is beautiful" shpeel but recently God has changed that into... I can be beautiful. Not the beautiful of the world.. Im talking the beautiful of God.
The thing is.. This lady's beauty wasnt just something that I saw- its something EVERYone saw. She shines from the inside and it makes her positively radiant on the outside. The vulnerability she has to offer is astounding. Her truly feminine heart, touching.
Why are women these days so closed off? Why am I afraid to be vulnerable? Dont we know that WE were made in the image of the GOD of the UNIVERSE? If we were made in his image than how, HOW can we not know how incredible it is to be who he created us to be? soft, sweet, endearing, kind, yet on fire, passionate, loving... impactful.
Just a few weeks ago I really drew myself in for some reason. I didnt stop being real I just feel like I stopped being vulnerable. You see, when you live in a state of vulnerability your constantly aware of an attack. The enemy can attack your heart, your soul, and definitely your mind. He did mine... and I had to repent from that. How many opportunities did I loose because I didnt trust HIM to protect me? I was truly caught up in MYself... but through that I wasnt at peace because I wasnt being who God, Himself, calls me to be.
I really feel like this was God's gift to me... O, I am SO thankful he's here to guide my path! To show me it OK to cry when something touches your heart- tears of joy or tears of sorrow. Its OK to humbly kneel before your God even though your thoughts are "what will they think of me?". Its OK... to follow the Spirit. I think that each one of us who has the Holy Spirit is probed by Him differently, and that is amazing! but I think true beauty remains the same no matter what. I think that when you see someone who you know is walking humbly with their God and kneeling worshipingly (go ahead and add that one to my dictionary too) before his AWEsome throne- I think THAT is what is captivating and THAT is unmistakably beautiful.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Like a million kisses...
Today... I asked God to show me His love for me. I mean I know He does love me and I don't doubt it but I just needed Him to show me. He did. After a day full of work (which doesn't ever feel like work) I went to go feed all the horses and as I put down the first bucket the heavens just BROKE LOOSE! To some, or most, this would be awful but to me.. it was absolutely incredible. Breath-taking. I just stood there with the other buckets in my hands looking up to my God, laughing. Sometimes things just touch my heart and I don't even know why but today it was, truly, a million kisses from my father. I seriously felt insane for laughing but that was my first reaction to my Lord and His incredible love for me. To me rain has always meant freedom- a numbing freedom. Its romantic. Its enveloping. Its practical beauty. It brings a promise. It shows new beginnings. It has the power to wash away. It makes me want to run. It makes me feel loved. How odd...but it actually does. It actually makes me feel loved.
**Update**
**Update**
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Impacted on all sides (:
I am so crazily impacted by so many people and I have never written about it! So now I will (:
First of all every single one you have impacted my life and who I am in so many ways for the better or for the worse...mostly the better, so dont worry! I'm not mentioning names so you'll just be left to wonder i guess.
For starters something that warms my heart every night is when my daddy comes in and kisses my forehead and then whispers in my ear, "your daddy loves you... sweet dreams." Every night for ten years... I love you sooo daddy. p.s. your laugh.
Mama!! O my, you are incredible.. and I truly stand in amazement at all you do for me. Everything. Most especially you search my eyes and then give me a hug. You know me SO well. I love you sooo too!
I have this one friend who, when I feel so unencouraged, says the most uplifting amazing things. I've found my phone many times saying one new voicemail to find her voice telling me.. reminding me of the Greatness of our God. Thank you dear (:
You... o! Always! I can come to you with anything to hear a likeminded opinion on exactly how I should go from where I am. Sweet friend you remind me of God's words with scripture or through books or just your words to affirm my path or help me onto a different one.
One day I walked into church and you gave me a hug! Your eyes cared on how I really was.
I feel like I have to tell you everything that goes on in my life or I just cant continue.. I need to laugh with you and you always make me laugh! Thank you for always showing me life... living. I love you for who you are no matter how hard it gets we are here for each other.
The man who is like my father... every time I see you I know things will always be the same in our relationship. I know you will always love me and your support in my life and what im doing means the world. You are incredible and i love you.
Endless rides to the barn.. hot chocolate on cold nights... McDonalds every weekend for ages... Show tunes at Imperial Garden.. Laughing while watching the stars. Grams I love love love you so!
Your notes came in the perfect timing...the flowers they touched my heart. Thank you for investing and caring. Through many of my dramatic days last summer we got to talk and talk in Starbucks. You make me smile and you have been such an incredible example for what trials are when you choose to walk by Jesus. Thank you.
I've faced it.. Mock Trial wouldnt have been the same without you. Krispy Kreme, Bojos, I had fun. Thank you for being there on a rough day.. dont worry. You didnt make it worse- even if you think you did. (:
YOU!!! You amaze me. I had one of the best nights with you. Even though I was hacking away.. we shared advice, hurts, and different situations at TWO in the morning over crepes.. Thank you for your sincerity and your hugs every friday.
My dearest... I wish you were still here. I wish we could still do crafts and run around. Things arent the same without you but you have impacted me most and I love you.
Now for my best friend. You know me better then anyone else. Even though I say others are my best friend and you know that I absolutely adore you. No matter what happens we will still be here for each other and I know that. Thank you for staying up with me and sharing secrets... sharing stuff we felt only safe to share with each other.. thank you for telling me when Im being, well.. ya. and thanks for being truthful and trusting. I love you big brother (:
Thank you for telling me Im beautiful, that the day will get better, that you understand and that you're here for me. You mean the world to me darling.
So I know that I havent mentioned just about a gagillion people but I didnt want to make it forever long. So thank you my dear blessings (: God has put you in my life to bring a lil heaven on earth and I thank Him everyday for you...
**Update**
First of all every single one you have impacted my life and who I am in so many ways for the better or for the worse...mostly the better, so dont worry! I'm not mentioning names so you'll just be left to wonder i guess.
For starters something that warms my heart every night is when my daddy comes in and kisses my forehead and then whispers in my ear, "your daddy loves you... sweet dreams." Every night for ten years... I love you sooo daddy. p.s. your laugh.
Mama!! O my, you are incredible.. and I truly stand in amazement at all you do for me. Everything. Most especially you search my eyes and then give me a hug. You know me SO well. I love you sooo too!
I have this one friend who, when I feel so unencouraged, says the most uplifting amazing things. I've found my phone many times saying one new voicemail to find her voice telling me.. reminding me of the Greatness of our God. Thank you dear (:
You... o! Always! I can come to you with anything to hear a likeminded opinion on exactly how I should go from where I am. Sweet friend you remind me of God's words with scripture or through books or just your words to affirm my path or help me onto a different one.
One day I walked into church and you gave me a hug! Your eyes cared on how I really was.
I feel like I have to tell you everything that goes on in my life or I just cant continue.. I need to laugh with you and you always make me laugh! Thank you for always showing me life... living. I love you for who you are no matter how hard it gets we are here for each other.
The man who is like my father... every time I see you I know things will always be the same in our relationship. I know you will always love me and your support in my life and what im doing means the world. You are incredible and i love you.
Endless rides to the barn.. hot chocolate on cold nights... McDonalds every weekend for ages... Show tunes at Imperial Garden.. Laughing while watching the stars. Grams I love love love you so!
Your notes came in the perfect timing...the flowers they touched my heart. Thank you for investing and caring. Through many of my dramatic days last summer we got to talk and talk in Starbucks. You make me smile and you have been such an incredible example for what trials are when you choose to walk by Jesus. Thank you.
I've faced it.. Mock Trial wouldnt have been the same without you. Krispy Kreme, Bojos, I had fun. Thank you for being there on a rough day.. dont worry. You didnt make it worse- even if you think you did. (:
YOU!!! You amaze me. I had one of the best nights with you. Even though I was hacking away.. we shared advice, hurts, and different situations at TWO in the morning over crepes.. Thank you for your sincerity and your hugs every friday.
My dearest... I wish you were still here. I wish we could still do crafts and run around. Things arent the same without you but you have impacted me most and I love you.
Now for my best friend. You know me better then anyone else. Even though I say others are my best friend and you know that I absolutely adore you. No matter what happens we will still be here for each other and I know that. Thank you for staying up with me and sharing secrets... sharing stuff we felt only safe to share with each other.. thank you for telling me when Im being, well.. ya. and thanks for being truthful and trusting. I love you big brother (:
Thank you for telling me Im beautiful, that the day will get better, that you understand and that you're here for me. You mean the world to me darling.
So I know that I havent mentioned just about a gagillion people but I didnt want to make it forever long. So thank you my dear blessings (: God has put you in my life to bring a lil heaven on earth and I thank Him everyday for you...
**Update**
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Dependent.. On what?
Why am I such a letdown? Why do I allow people to even let me down?
I forget so easily that it’s not people who have written the very words of who I am on my heart. It’s not people who have the ability to see me or are continually for me even when I am being horrible. It’s my King. Everyday…every hour.. almost every minute I forget that. Instead, I begin to look to people for my comfort, my peace, my security. Patiently Jesus, O Jesus, He writes to my heart.. He whispers in my ear.. “It’s me Anna. I am always here for you.. III will never let you down. Dear sweet child, pick up your cross and follow Me.” Then the next minute “Daughter, follow me.” The next.. “I give you honest and sincere love.” The next, “I, my love, am the Real Thing.” He constantly comes for me. He repeatedly rescues my broken heart and heals it with such compassion.
Truly, I am so frustrated. His kindness and adoration for me is not dependent on anything. However, what I consist of is completely dependent… on everything! His Grace comes in and it just sweeps me away. When my heart is so hard He lifts me up. Remembering that utterly wipes my frustration away.
Then, I try an follow his calling… but you see his calling is to never have the feeling of “Im done! I am just DONE!” Unfortunately, that’s what I’ve found myself saying often! How weak. Know why? It’s me who’s living and I’m not allowing Christ to live completely through me. So of course IM done- What am I without Him? His calling for my life is to never be done for He is right there beside me… always leading me by still waters and even when I go through the valley He is STILL there. Always. Always. Always. (How come whenever I write everything here it all sounds like, "Of course! How did I not see that before?" man o man o man!)
My Response to His goodness: joy.
*Update on my life...spiritually*
I forget so easily that it’s not people who have written the very words of who I am on my heart. It’s not people who have the ability to see me or are continually for me even when I am being horrible. It’s my King. Everyday…every hour.. almost every minute I forget that. Instead, I begin to look to people for my comfort, my peace, my security. Patiently Jesus, O Jesus, He writes to my heart.. He whispers in my ear.. “It’s me Anna. I am always here for you.. III will never let you down. Dear sweet child, pick up your cross and follow Me.” Then the next minute “Daughter, follow me.” The next.. “I give you honest and sincere love.” The next, “I, my love, am the Real Thing.” He constantly comes for me. He repeatedly rescues my broken heart and heals it with such compassion.
Truly, I am so frustrated. His kindness and adoration for me is not dependent on anything. However, what I consist of is completely dependent… on everything! His Grace comes in and it just sweeps me away. When my heart is so hard He lifts me up. Remembering that utterly wipes my frustration away.
Then, I try an follow his calling… but you see his calling is to never have the feeling of “Im done! I am just DONE!” Unfortunately, that’s what I’ve found myself saying often! How weak. Know why? It’s me who’s living and I’m not allowing Christ to live completely through me. So of course IM done- What am I without Him? His calling for my life is to never be done for He is right there beside me… always leading me by still waters and even when I go through the valley He is STILL there. Always. Always. Always. (How come whenever I write everything here it all sounds like, "Of course! How did I not see that before?" man o man o man!)
My Response to His goodness: joy.
*Update on my life...spiritually*
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Be prepared for a totally different post then normal but it just was a completely necessary experience to share.. :)
As I sit here watching American Idol I cant escape the smell... the awful smell of a spray on tan. Wonderful readers.. I can't believe that I, Anna Foulkrod, got a SPRAY-ON-TAN! I mean can you even believe it? Ok, in my defense I had absolutely no idea that this is what our 'family night' entitled.
Now you might be thinkin- Why on earth did she get one? Well, you see I have a formal event on Saturday needing an evening gown. Instead of getting a new dress this year I just completely re-did an old dress. Part of these alterations were going strapless. Unfortunately, I tanned a lot last summer leaving white white whiteness... so.. after re-trying the dress on my dad recommended a tan. Ha, I thought he was completely kidding but apparently not.. because here I sit, stinky and smelly for another 6 hours..
But I must say this isn't a bad experience at all! In fact, I'd say that it was/is a wonderful memory. The fact that through the windows I could see (the rather orange themselves) salon workers cracking up- I can only imagine how often they get a whole family to walk through their doors! Their first words were "going to the Caribbean?". Goodness.. I hope this came across as humorous as it is to me as I sit here not only stinky and smelly but now laughing.
When I walked out of the tanning place not only did I take a DEEP breathe of fresh air but also I laughed sooo hard and then my family joined me, making it even better.
*Update on my Life*
As I sit here watching American Idol I cant escape the smell... the awful smell of a spray on tan. Wonderful readers.. I can't believe that I, Anna Foulkrod, got a SPRAY-ON-TAN! I mean can you even believe it? Ok, in my defense I had absolutely no idea that this is what our 'family night' entitled.
Now you might be thinkin- Why on earth did she get one? Well, you see I have a formal event on Saturday needing an evening gown. Instead of getting a new dress this year I just completely re-did an old dress. Part of these alterations were going strapless. Unfortunately, I tanned a lot last summer leaving white white whiteness... so.. after re-trying the dress on my dad recommended a tan. Ha, I thought he was completely kidding but apparently not.. because here I sit, stinky and smelly for another 6 hours..
But I must say this isn't a bad experience at all! In fact, I'd say that it was/is a wonderful memory. The fact that through the windows I could see (the rather orange themselves) salon workers cracking up- I can only imagine how often they get a whole family to walk through their doors! Their first words were "going to the Caribbean?". Goodness.. I hope this came across as humorous as it is to me as I sit here not only stinky and smelly but now laughing.
When I walked out of the tanning place not only did I take a DEEP breathe of fresh air but also I laughed sooo hard and then my family joined me, making it even better.
*Update on my Life*
Thursday, April 15, 2010
the watered down word :)
The Lord is just SO good. I try to describe Him and when I do, how frustrated I get! There really seem to be no words that are glorifying enough for his holy, holy name.
Our language is just so normal and most conversationalists use many adjectives to explain/describe things, which I feel really robs our vocabulary. Sadly, it allows so many extremely powerful words to mean almost nothing... well not "nothing" but it takes away the passion or rawness that you meant to get across.
The word love for instance... I love chocolate and I love people. No way are people and chocolate on the same level in my mind! (Chocolate is wayyy higher... COMPLETELY kidding!) Do you see what the dilemma is? A few weeks ago I was just so deeply bothered that I looked the word love up in a Greek dictionary. Where I discovered there are three types of love... Philia, Eros, and Agape. These words are so deep and raw that I had to share.
Philia- Is friendly and basically shows your affection on the level of loyalty. Nothing more nothing less.. it just kind of is. Personally I think the word for love we use today can be the same thing in most cases. Philia is mostly like an appreciation for something we like.
Eros- There is a quote by Plato that's pretty crazy, "Although Eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation for the beauty within that person, or even an appreciation for beauty itself." This, I believe is a longing for more than just Philia(friendliness) but it is without commitment. Maybe just an attraction, what Hollywood would call 'love at first sight'.
The final type of love is TRUE love. Deep and personal.. The love my Savior has for me. This love is rare and completely steadfast, never-changing. It is SO NOT dependent on the moment because it stands as it is... Agape. The heat that comes with this word is just incredibly dumbfounding. Nothing have I done to deserve this kind of love, and that's just exactly what blows my socks off. Jesus loves me as I am. All the crazy horribly selfish mistakes I make, every act of utter disobedience, the continual choices of me over Him, the constant struggle for my plan over His- He'll take all of that if it allows him to have me. UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE.
*Update*
Our language is just so normal and most conversationalists use many adjectives to explain/describe things, which I feel really robs our vocabulary. Sadly, it allows so many extremely powerful words to mean almost nothing... well not "nothing" but it takes away the passion or rawness that you meant to get across.
The word love for instance... I love chocolate and I love people. No way are people and chocolate on the same level in my mind! (Chocolate is wayyy higher... COMPLETELY kidding!) Do you see what the dilemma is? A few weeks ago I was just so deeply bothered that I looked the word love up in a Greek dictionary. Where I discovered there are three types of love... Philia, Eros, and Agape. These words are so deep and raw that I had to share.
Philia- Is friendly and basically shows your affection on the level of loyalty. Nothing more nothing less.. it just kind of is. Personally I think the word for love we use today can be the same thing in most cases. Philia is mostly like an appreciation for something we like.
Eros- There is a quote by Plato that's pretty crazy, "Although Eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation for the beauty within that person, or even an appreciation for beauty itself." This, I believe is a longing for more than just Philia(friendliness) but it is without commitment. Maybe just an attraction, what Hollywood would call 'love at first sight'.
The final type of love is TRUE love. Deep and personal.. The love my Savior has for me. This love is rare and completely steadfast, never-changing. It is SO NOT dependent on the moment because it stands as it is... Agape. The heat that comes with this word is just incredibly dumbfounding. Nothing have I done to deserve this kind of love, and that's just exactly what blows my socks off. Jesus loves me as I am. All the crazy horribly selfish mistakes I make, every act of utter disobedience, the continual choices of me over Him, the constant struggle for my plan over His- He'll take all of that if it allows him to have me. UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE.
*Update*
Friday, April 9, 2010
The Sweet Spot :)
Ok I am OFFICIALLY inspired! Thoreau has completely inspired me (well I was inspired by a friend to be inspired by Thoreau).
A few of his incredible quotes have stuck out to me a bunch! Well actually, most of them stuck out to me but I'm not going to take up my whole blog to write on them :)A few of them I'll tell you what I think about and the others... you can just let your imaginations be intrigued!
Quoto numero uno!
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
-This one is pretty inspiring because so many people in today's world want to not only walk with the crowd but run with it. Also, something interesting here is that Thoreau encourages the others to "let him step to the music he hears". how awesome if everyone encouraged each other to actually be themselves and accepted them that way.
*Application- mmm, this is REALLY hard. As wonderfully incredible this sounds, in reality I completely fall short way too often. Maybe you can relate: its the person that walks in the room and everyone cringes... however, no matter how many people do this we're called to a higher standard as Christan's. "love your brother as yourself"... I realize how high of a standard this is but I think thats why God gives it to us. They are so high because we need to come to the realization that without him we just CANT do it. In order to love, the love he has called us to, we need him!
#2
"However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are the richest."
-This man definitely has a way with words that is so capturing and makes you wonder and think about who you actually are and how you really live your life. In this quote he says how life looks the poorest when you are actually the richest. I think this is a completely real and legitimate thought- if all you're living for is riches and wealth then what are you left with when you accomplish that? More riches and wealth? When he says poorest of course he doesnt mean materially but the mission of your life, with only stuff to look forward to, is poor. The quality of life that brings is poor. The happiness it brings is momentary.
#3
"That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."
I love, love, LOVE this one. To me it says live life! Moments, friendships, fun, love, investments... this all costs really nothing except in our minds and hearts which really is value anyways.
#4
"Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind." (the one you really wanted to hear B))
I say... TRUE! Now that last part of the quote took me a while- a long while.. I'm pretty sure I re-read it at least ten times. What incredible words. They're words that sound so intelligent that you know you need to understand what he's trying to say. I might get this wrong but what I think he's saying is that luxury completely can get in the way of us looking at OURselves. Not what others have or what we must have but taking a deep look inside ourselves and the condition of our heart. Now, since we live in America no matter how you live you are bound to have luxuries. I dont think to the same extent as Thoreau does about luxuries but I do agree that they TOTALLY get in the way of our relationship with God and the way we view life. The main thing echoed throughout Thoreau's work is the fact that leading a life of poverty is sweeter than a life of riches however, I believe God has us all in different places in life for different reason... as long as we trust and completely believe that HE will supply us with all of our needs and we will be in the sweet spot.
"Poverty ... It is life near the bone, where it is sweetest." (interesting)
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."
"The blue bird carries the sky on his back"
"There is no remedy for love but to love more" (Wow, how beautiful!)
*Update on my thoughts*
A few of his incredible quotes have stuck out to me a bunch! Well actually, most of them stuck out to me but I'm not going to take up my whole blog to write on them :)A few of them I'll tell you what I think about and the others... you can just let your imaginations be intrigued!
Quoto numero uno!
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
-This one is pretty inspiring because so many people in today's world want to not only walk with the crowd but run with it. Also, something interesting here is that Thoreau encourages the others to "let him step to the music he hears". how awesome if everyone encouraged each other to actually be themselves and accepted them that way.
*Application- mmm, this is REALLY hard. As wonderfully incredible this sounds, in reality I completely fall short way too often. Maybe you can relate: its the person that walks in the room and everyone cringes... however, no matter how many people do this we're called to a higher standard as Christan's. "love your brother as yourself"... I realize how high of a standard this is but I think thats why God gives it to us. They are so high because we need to come to the realization that without him we just CANT do it. In order to love, the love he has called us to, we need him!
#2
"However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are the richest."
-This man definitely has a way with words that is so capturing and makes you wonder and think about who you actually are and how you really live your life. In this quote he says how life looks the poorest when you are actually the richest. I think this is a completely real and legitimate thought- if all you're living for is riches and wealth then what are you left with when you accomplish that? More riches and wealth? When he says poorest of course he doesnt mean materially but the mission of your life, with only stuff to look forward to, is poor. The quality of life that brings is poor. The happiness it brings is momentary.
#3
"That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."
I love, love, LOVE this one. To me it says live life! Moments, friendships, fun, love, investments... this all costs really nothing except in our minds and hearts which really is value anyways.
#4
"Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind." (the one you really wanted to hear B))
I say... TRUE! Now that last part of the quote took me a while- a long while.. I'm pretty sure I re-read it at least ten times. What incredible words. They're words that sound so intelligent that you know you need to understand what he's trying to say. I might get this wrong but what I think he's saying is that luxury completely can get in the way of us looking at OURselves. Not what others have or what we must have but taking a deep look inside ourselves and the condition of our heart. Now, since we live in America no matter how you live you are bound to have luxuries. I dont think to the same extent as Thoreau does about luxuries but I do agree that they TOTALLY get in the way of our relationship with God and the way we view life. The main thing echoed throughout Thoreau's work is the fact that leading a life of poverty is sweeter than a life of riches however, I believe God has us all in different places in life for different reason... as long as we trust and completely believe that HE will supply us with all of our needs and we will be in the sweet spot.
"Poverty ... It is life near the bone, where it is sweetest." (interesting)
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."
"The blue bird carries the sky on his back"
"There is no remedy for love but to love more" (Wow, how beautiful!)
*Update on my thoughts*
Monday, April 5, 2010
Why are hard days always sooo hard? The pain of living in a sinful world! It seems that I always write here when my thoughts are more depressing than normal. I dont mean to be depressing at all! It's just there are far fewer heavy thoughts in my life as opposed to light hearted care-free ones. Mostly I have a smile on my face and am loving life but lets be honest.. life is NOT, unfortunately, always like that. Today for instense... Just over-all sad!
One of those days that you have absolutely every reason to sit down and cry your heart out, eat a box of milk chocolates and listen to depressing music. Even though yesterday was wonderful how can today be so tough? How that frustrates me! The fact that everything can be fine one day and the next.. Well, not so fine just kills me.
Anyways, while I was doing all of the things I felt worthy to do while feeling sad I called my mom and told her all about my rough day. She completely understood and reminded me of my Savior through scripture:
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. The poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles." -Psalm 34:4-6
So, my dear blog readers, this is what I have decided to rest in. Jesus does care for me and my burdenesome days...he wants to take them away from me! Although, its my choice to give my burden to him. To give him my thoughts and actions and days and plans and life- O, how easy life is when I choose to trust him with all of the above. Worry-free, care-free, passionate, clear thoughts, devotion, freedom, smiles, laughing! It all seems to come when I give it ALL to Jesus.
*Update on my Life*
One of those days that you have absolutely every reason to sit down and cry your heart out, eat a box of milk chocolates and listen to depressing music. Even though yesterday was wonderful how can today be so tough? How that frustrates me! The fact that everything can be fine one day and the next.. Well, not so fine just kills me.
Anyways, while I was doing all of the things I felt worthy to do while feeling sad I called my mom and told her all about my rough day. She completely understood and reminded me of my Savior through scripture:
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. The poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles." -Psalm 34:4-6
So, my dear blog readers, this is what I have decided to rest in. Jesus does care for me and my burdenesome days...he wants to take them away from me! Although, its my choice to give my burden to him. To give him my thoughts and actions and days and plans and life- O, how easy life is when I choose to trust him with all of the above. Worry-free, care-free, passionate, clear thoughts, devotion, freedom, smiles, laughing! It all seems to come when I give it ALL to Jesus.
*Update on my Life*
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Self-Deservingness
Have you ever had a day where everything that happens isnt supposed to???
When I have those days I find myself saying "This is not how it is supposed to go!" "This is NOT what I had planned!" But I mean seriously! All the possible plans, even plan D doesnt go through... it's just a wreck. So what's the solution to a day like this? p.o.u.t.Yup, thats it... I pout. A(almost) 15 year old chick goes up to her room and pouts.
I was thinking why does this even happen? Shouldnt I be mature enough to handle it when things dont go my way? The answer is no... when you look at the heart issue. If I fix the heart issue though, my attitude is fixed, but the heart issue is not so easy to dismiss. I found that in these situations the word that is constantly going through my head is "deserve"... the heart issue= self-deservingness. Truly I deserve nothing...nothing. So why does that word echo in my head? O, because I am selfish and I want my life to line up with what I want. What's hard about this is the fact that I am a CHRIST follower... not an ANNA follower. In fact the bible says I must actually die to myself and live for Christ.. So not only am I listening to the issue in my heart I am not following Jesus in the life of 'denying myself' that he intented for me to live.
Then this heart issue goes even deeper, into the fact that I still have a constant battle of living a little bit of my life for me (sometimes more :-/) and not solely trusting Jesus in the perfect plan he has for me in my life.
So you see, What you might think is just a "reaction" to the day you had, if you further analyze it and look at your heart you will find that unfortunately that is just not the case.
*Update on my Life*
When I have those days I find myself saying "This is not how it is supposed to go!" "This is NOT what I had planned!" But I mean seriously! All the possible plans, even plan D doesnt go through... it's just a wreck. So what's the solution to a day like this? p.o.u.t.Yup, thats it... I pout. A(almost) 15 year old chick goes up to her room and pouts.
I was thinking why does this even happen? Shouldnt I be mature enough to handle it when things dont go my way? The answer is no... when you look at the heart issue. If I fix the heart issue though, my attitude is fixed, but the heart issue is not so easy to dismiss. I found that in these situations the word that is constantly going through my head is "deserve"... the heart issue= self-deservingness. Truly I deserve nothing...nothing. So why does that word echo in my head? O, because I am selfish and I want my life to line up with what I want. What's hard about this is the fact that I am a CHRIST follower... not an ANNA follower. In fact the bible says I must actually die to myself and live for Christ.. So not only am I listening to the issue in my heart I am not following Jesus in the life of 'denying myself' that he intented for me to live.
Then this heart issue goes even deeper, into the fact that I still have a constant battle of living a little bit of my life for me (sometimes more :-/) and not solely trusting Jesus in the perfect plan he has for me in my life.
So you see, What you might think is just a "reaction" to the day you had, if you further analyze it and look at your heart you will find that unfortunately that is just not the case.
*Update on my Life*
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The Song that Says it All
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
I've heard this song many times but I took a few minutes this morning and just read it outloud to my Savior... HE is AMAZING!! This song just says it all.. everything I believe in, what I feel, how I should live =) I challenge you to take a few minutes and do the same- read it outloud I think it will impact your day and move your heart!
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
I've heard this song many times but I took a few minutes this morning and just read it outloud to my Savior... HE is AMAZING!! This song just says it all.. everything I believe in, what I feel, how I should live =) I challenge you to take a few minutes and do the same- read it outloud I think it will impact your day and move your heart!
The Song that Says it All
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
I've heard this song many times but I took a few minutes this morning and just read it outloud to my Savior... HE is AMAZING!! This song just says it all.. everything I believe in, what I feel, how I should live =) I challenge you to take a few minutes and do the same- read it outloud I think it will impact your day and move your heart!
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
I've heard this song many times but I took a few minutes this morning and just read it outloud to my Savior... HE is AMAZING!! This song just says it all.. everything I believe in, what I feel, how I should live =) I challenge you to take a few minutes and do the same- read it outloud I think it will impact your day and move your heart!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
My Piece of Humble Pie...
Wheww! Tonight, my heart came before the incredibly forgiving throne of God humiliated to realize how prideful and self-righteous it had become. It absolutely disgusts me when I look back. Not just the fact of my "betterness" but that I was so caught up in it that I didnt realize what I was doing.
I am a FILTHY rag before my King and I am only able to call Him my King because Jesus died for MY sins...ooo tears are flowing. I am so undeserving and seeing I thought I was deserving just kills me! :(
To my dear friends that I have disrespected and been "better than"- I am sincerly sorry... my heart is hurting right now for I am so humiliated. See how prideful I am! Ugh.
To many of and those that are older- I have so much to learn from you. O! I am so sorry for thinking my way better. YOU are older and wiser... I respect you. Please please forgive me for my hard unteachable heart.
To my dearest parents- Thank you for loving me enough to call me out.. I love you!
I know that this experience of being humbled is for my good. I know Jesus will always make all things work together for my good.. I hope my heart will stay in this place but when it doesnt please love me enough to tell me this isnt the way to live life... It will hurt but O what a blessing it would be!
*Update on my Life*
I am a FILTHY rag before my King and I am only able to call Him my King because Jesus died for MY sins...ooo tears are flowing. I am so undeserving and seeing I thought I was deserving just kills me! :(
To my dear friends that I have disrespected and been "better than"- I am sincerly sorry... my heart is hurting right now for I am so humiliated. See how prideful I am! Ugh.
To many of and those that are older- I have so much to learn from you. O! I am so sorry for thinking my way better. YOU are older and wiser... I respect you. Please please forgive me for my hard unteachable heart.
To my dearest parents- Thank you for loving me enough to call me out.. I love you!
I know that this experience of being humbled is for my good. I know Jesus will always make all things work together for my good.. I hope my heart will stay in this place but when it doesnt please love me enough to tell me this isnt the way to live life... It will hurt but O what a blessing it would be!
*Update on my Life*
Monday, January 4, 2010
"American Dream"
Webster's dictionary definition of the "American Dream" is a life of personal happiness and material comfort as traditionally sought by individuals in the U.S.. Mmmm. What does 'material comfort and personal happiness' mean? In my eyes it means perfection. The "ideal" life is the perfect life. The sad thing is... there is no perfect life.
Nowadays pretty much every household is searching for this dream and trying to find it. In my opinion though, the American dream is un-valid because I dont think material comfort will truly satisfy or fulfill anyones heart. The fundamentals included also blow my mind! It is such a selfish America we live in if this is all we are seeking after! Personal happiness? Does that mean we, as Americans, live only to find and achieve our own happiness? O how I fall for this time and time again and boy does it hurt my heart! My brothers and sisters all across the world are hurting and all I can think about is myself.
Psalm 119:36 says- Turn my heart to your statutes and not to my selfish gain.
I cant even imagine that if we (or just myself) took half that time that we take worrying about ourselves and put it toward someone else the whole view of our dream would change. It would be a dream that put others before money, comfort and personal happiness and I believe that dream could change lives.
Nowadays pretty much every household is searching for this dream and trying to find it. In my opinion though, the American dream is un-valid because I dont think material comfort will truly satisfy or fulfill anyones heart. The fundamentals included also blow my mind! It is such a selfish America we live in if this is all we are seeking after! Personal happiness? Does that mean we, as Americans, live only to find and achieve our own happiness? O how I fall for this time and time again and boy does it hurt my heart! My brothers and sisters all across the world are hurting and all I can think about is myself.
Psalm 119:36 says- Turn my heart to your statutes and not to my selfish gain.
I cant even imagine that if we (or just myself) took half that time that we take worrying about ourselves and put it toward someone else the whole view of our dream would change. It would be a dream that put others before money, comfort and personal happiness and I believe that dream could change lives.
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