.TRUST.and.OBEY.

So, here I sit-on my bed, in my pjs, with teeth brushed, fuzzy socks on, and retainer in place- it's nine o'clock on a friday night. This is, in fact, not my usual routine... but it is an OH so welcomed break and a chance to write. To write my blurred thoughts and allow them to be made more clear...

First, a song that has continuously come in to my head. Do you remember that old hymn that was sung in sunday school? "trust and obey, oh, trust and obey! for, there is NO other way...to be happy...IN JESUS!!! but to TRUST.and.OBEY!" yes, this song-- the song I sang just to join in with my classmates, to plainly ring the tune, loud and clear for many years of my childhood--brought on a whole new meaning this week. Oddly, those two, simple yet profound, intimidating but so useful words rang in my meditative head, over and over. God, in His ever so omnipotent cleverness, placed them there for a reason. A clear and undeniable instruction... one that, in my stupidity, I had run from many months, not in full, but, nonetheless, I WAS yet disobedient and untrusting. Instead of trusting and placing my life minutely in His wonderfully loving hands, I gripped and tugged in back into my own possession. I decided to trust myself and make my own (scary) plans--now, granted these weren't bad plans but, since they were obviously not GOD'S plans, they, consequently, would not be the BEST that He already has prepared for me-- ones that will only prosper me.

These were NOT easy to give up. In fact--and I suppose oddly enough--were a struggle to place in his AWEsome power. To acknowledge that He, and only Him, knows the college I will attend, the people I will impact, the ministries that will be placed in my life, the husband I will marry, the place I will live... in total, the plan for my life.

ah, but you see, that is the exact problem. it is NOT my life. but, in fact, it is His. In His humble love and mercy, He allows me to return to Him what is already HIS! Is that not just a remarkable thought? A thought of such hope and utter humility? it has truly persisted to humble me the more I reflect upon it. amazing.

As I wait in thorough anticipation to watch my life unfold, I have come to the immense realization that I MUST --without holding anything back-- TRUST.and.OBEY the Creator the universe...the One who loves me oh, so very much.