Where Quantity Matters and Quality Lacks

Yes, this is the truth. For years and years my wonderful dad has dragged my mother and I to this food trough. Now, not to offend anyone who actually enjoys this place (such as my father, brother and Abby) but, let's face it... this place not only has no nutritional value but it's atmosphere/experience is rather lacking as well.

However, I do not want to completely shed this place in a dark light. I have incredible memories here. Tonight happened to be one of the best. For the record, the mumbling I provide, the complaining that ensues following the topic of "Golden Corral," only provides more dynamics to the whole restaurant selection process. Truth is, we probably make it here only once a year...if that shows you just how much complaining I do at the very mention.

But the laughter is priceless. It touches my soul. Apparently only this deep, awesome laughter can only occur over fattening food and a neon light environment. At the same time, it was kind of somber... The fact that my brother is leaving just kills me. I hate to put a damper on the pseudo comedic post, but in 6 months, my brother will be in Ohio. 8 hours away. Gah. Overwhelming sadness. Boo.

Who will be the one to add an awkward silence? A ridiculous wit that will make anyone fall off their seat? I'll never hear his specific pitter-patter when he walks in the squeaky garage door while humming some crazy tune...at least for a few months spread at a time. Who will be the one to shed a rational light on my irrational emotions or tearful situations? The one to give me the few and far between hugs that happen to come in the perfect timing...meaning all the more.

Boy, oh boy. I am ecstatic about the places he is going with his life- I could not be more proud. But selfishly, I wish we could leave at the exact same time... touch base over phone when we're experiencing similar college experiences, maybe I could call him when I'm slightly homesick and he might be able to (possibly, if I caught him on a bad day) relate. BUT. No. He will be leaving a year early. He will happen to experience a totally different year then I will and for the first time ever, we will not share a roof, nor food, nor nightly laughter, nor friends.

Here's for an extremely busy senior year. I figure if I stay busy enough I might not blunder on the fact, the realization, that I won't be seeing one of my best friends for months. Sounds like a healthy solution.. am I right, or am I right??

(amazing what good ole memories Golden Corral can bring to mind...)

As Always,

So often things don't go as I plan. For instance, this morning, I woke up late- got ready rather quickly, ran down stairs made a smoothie, kissed mom goodbye and headed out the door. ONLY to let out a terrified screech to find that, low and behold, half the earth's water supply had seeped through my open sunroof. If you can imagine, that in itself was quite defeating... I run inside grab towels quickly to (try to) dry everything and hop in the car... 10 minutes late now. While I'm driving up Creedmoore, I realize I left my leather bag at home. Just so happened to have my phone in that bag. And some cash. My gas tank was empty. Okay, okay... I'm still in pretty good humor at this point. I pick up a friend, he has cash- thank you, Lord! We fill up, hop on the highway... I spill my smoothie. Needless to say, I will be cleaning out my car today when I get home.

But you know, this has been such a reoccurring theme in my life, recently. Could quite possibly be that, regardless of my carelessness, I need to lay my plans down at Jesus' feet? Throughout this entire six months, it seems like nothing I intended to happen has happened... instead, everything I intended wouldn't happened did happen. It was tough. Brutal even. Disappointing in some areas and overflowingly fulfilling in others.

In the beginning of this year, I had a chance to go to Florida and just spend some alone time, getting away from everything except for myself. It was there that I realized just that. I can't get away from myself. Everywhere I will ever go... I bring myself along, too. And you know what? That might sound simple but, if it was, people would live differently. So what exactly do I mean when I say I bring myself with me? I mean... I bring my imperfectness everywhere, my rude thoughts, my selfish demeanor, my sarcastic nature, my always attempting perfectionism tendencies. I bring my lack of sleep, my grumpiness, my sadness and sulkiness, my ideas and thoughts... my dreams. I also bring the good parts of me, too [don't want to be a complete "Debbie Downer"] I know my every thought- and, obviously, I bring them with me.


Most of the time, we make ourselves miserable.

I think that there are two types of human nature. The type that likes to dwell all by themselves and wrought in their choices, actions, decisions.. or the type that just cannot, under any circumstances, be alone. If they are alone, they will actually have to realize and think about themselves. Who they are. Now, let's be honest, there is no good way here. Both limit people. Both affect lives. Both do more hurt than help.

I tend to lean on the side of the first type- the one who contemplates failure so that they can try to never do it again. The type that can be quite good at beating themselves up. When I was in Florida, I was smacked in the face with all the times in the past six months that I didn't handle my unexpected plans well. I was prideful... so much so that I was lying on the account that I had been doing well. But I really wasn't. I was challenged with so many thoughts, so many things...that I was exploding. I was in disbelief over all that was happening. None. Seriously. And, on top of that, I had this thought repeating itself, "NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!!" Oh, how often do we think that? How self-pitiful. How ridiculous.

My point with all of the above is, things don't go as planned. They just don't. They might be "supposed" to go as planned but trust me, Jesus has different plans. It seems like he almost always does. But they are better, those plans grow me- they change me.

Whilst in the sunshine state, the Lord gave me a reminder that I'm never done growing and changing- transforming more and more to his likeness. His likeness is perfect. Even though I desire to be more and more like him everyday, I know that I will never grasp perfection. At least not until the day I reach heaven. I can't wait for that day. Not because I want to be perfect...but because I want nothing more than to be in the perfect presence of my Savior.

(this post was written friday and edited over the weekend :))

As Always,              

Oh, 4am Is the Time When You Were Mine Frozen in Deepest Sleep

So, in order to start being productive with my 2012 goals and, being the multi-tasker that I am, I decided to kill THREE birds with one stone. No violence, of course. Today I have
1)Discovered a new band
2)Made a new recipe for lunch
3)AND (drum role please) blogged about it!

Now I will expound upon the first two... I'm hoping that the third is rather self-explanatory and doesn't need my assistance.

Okay, for the first. My new band. Envision this: I'm on youtube just clicking on one of my favorite songs... when I look up the lyrics for it ( i like to read the lyrics, every time for every song- weird habit ) I see the original writer so naturally I look up her songs. Then I realize that another one of her songs is actually a cover for another band..at which point click on their band! and then BAM. I fell in love. No really, I did. And of course I am now well versed in all of their songs...(no pun intended)

Band: Cherry Ghost
Genre: Indie Rock
Favorite Album: Beneath This Burning Shoreline
Fav Song: 4am (line from the song is blog post:))

So, now that I had a totally rad band to listen to... I had to check something off the list and get cookin'! I came to the conclusion that I just don't know why brussel sprouts have such a bad rep with kids. They are positively delicious. And easy as 1-2-3. (Picture courtesy of Abby's camera and my mad skills..ha.)
Recipe:
Steam sprouts for 5-7 mins. Cut into fourths. Sear in frying pan and add olive oil/sea salt. I made a simple balsamic reduction (due to the suggestion of another blog I read) and added it to the mix. I then added some spices----> from the Savory Spice Shoppe :) ...yum. It was such a delightful lunch. You should try it!

As Always,

It's a New Year?!

I know, I know.... don't even remind me how long it's been- for I am well aware! I don't know what's been going through me lately, but I have had just about zero urge to blog and while it's really sad, it was also kind of refreshing. Maybe I was just selfishly journaling my thoughts instead of sharing them where others can see. Sometimes it's easy to put yourself out there and other times...well, it's not as easy.

BUT I figured that since it's the New Year I should share some of my resolutions with you :) I know that it's a tad bit "late" but hey, it's still January and in my opinion, it's never too late to have a resolution list. Here is a quick entrance into my mind- i write lists constantly and about everything. Seriously. I have at least 10 lists going at once. Don't worry. They aren't disorganized. Actually they are very orderly. I guess this is where my resolutions begin...

1. Start completing the lists you make.
Often times I say yes to a whole lot of people and take a long time to follow through on the task. Ironically I was getting better at my follow through before the new year (I don't want to only be resolved in things just because of the new year. Ya know what I mean?) but I think that I can improve even more. It seems as though I say yes to things and then am up half the night completing them.

2. Be kinder.
Not even a word. I know. But that's besides the point. The point is in the meaning. I want to be better at going way out of my way in order to be a reliable smile and a happy hug for those who are having rough days. When I see a need- I want to fill it... when there are tears- i want to wipe them... to be a listening ear..to be a passionate lover of all people- no matter how hard they are to get along with. (pretty sure this can be my goal for the rest of my life!)

3. Be healthier.
I am quite healthy.. mostly vegetarian, negating the occasional relapse. But I love to cook and find healthy solutions to the icky, yucky, gross, processed foods of these modern times. I want to dump fast food down the toilette and be more satisfied with my healthy options. I would like to improve my cravings to healthy things- not terrible things ;)

4. Acquire more motivation in the realm of exercise.
Oh, where, oh where did my daily runs go? I want them back! And if I don't run daily, I want to swim those heavenly laps in the pool- how perfectly relaxing.

5. I would like to improve my blogging skills and branch out a bit on my topics- be more daring.

6. I want to fall even more in love with my Savior. Learn more about him and what he has for me. Become open to the path in life that he'll provide me and be satisfied in my walk on it. This year I want to die more and more to myself and become more and more alive in him.

7. Become more educated in my music. I love music but sometimes I don't take the time to discover those new bands and search for the fun and unexpected indie talent that is out there- but, this year, watch out! Here I come!

8. Read more. Journal more.

9. Finish my room decor :D

10. Venture out into Raleigh and do the fun stuff around town. More involved in the community.


I'm pretty sure I can get most of this done in a year. I'll keep you update on my successes and failures :) more to come soon.

But until then....