our lives changed by children who can't even speak

So, I'm aware that I'm a day behind but you know what? I think I can fill you guys in with just one wall post... I'm pretty talented(:

Today was a beautiful day. Unlike yesterday, it wasn't rainy and the sun was actually shining through the beautiful white clouds of Guatemala. The people were out and about on the streets of San Juan... The streets that look something like this.

Every time I make the trip up to the center I'm reminded of how lucky I am yet just how selfish I am, too. I look down and see the water that flows through the rivers- it looks something like chocolate milk with a disgusting mixture of trash and human waste. Nothing is very clean yet, oddly enough, everything is very beautiful. The bright colors and the impeccable, well cared for landscape absolutely blows my mind. These lovely people are such hard workers and unfortunately the reality still remains... they can't feed their own children.

Thankfully there is a malnutrition center at the top of a hill that overlooks all of San Juan. It's a breath taking view and one that will surely break your heart. You know, as I was riding back to the city of Antigua, today, I was trying to comprehend the way these moms feel when they drop their very own babies off with people they don't even know and so... I started to visualize it.

Honestly, I tried to but I just couldn't. I couldn't truly visualize the agony that is bound to occur in the mom's heart. But here is my attempt:
The walk that most of the moms make is usually days long. They hike up mountains and walk through the rain, they carry their baby on their back and try to comfort them... They persevere all the way up to this little yellow building that houses many hungry crying babies. They walk in the door and are overwhelmed with the realization that *this* is where they drop their child up and *this* is where they will be picking them up in 6 long months. Imagine the fear.
What if he doesn't remember me?
            What if he has different favorites?
                        And what happens if he chooses a worker over me?
What-ifs invade her mind and she's on the verge of turning down the hill until she is overtaken with the fact that there is no food at home. No meals for him to eat. And he will die if she take him with her. So, she walks bravely through those doors, drops him into the arms of a short little lady, and treks down the hill... tears drowning her face.

With the realization of this story the children's lives become so much more real... so much more important. I know that I am taking care of someone's child... that someone desperately wants them but can't provide for them so, for these 3 days I will do my best to care for this child like it's my own. And that is what our bus load of Americans have done. We have cared for these children like they were our own and this comes with pain.

This is Julio, and I am utterly (is there a stronger word I can use) attached to him and he is completely attached to me. He cries and cries unless I am the one holding him... no one else will do. He is totally precious and the most beautiful little boy. All I want to do is bring him home. and I'm [NOT] kidding.

To be so wanted, by a little human being- it's just tear jerking. Now, I put myself back in his mothers foot steps and I can't even imagine... I can't imagine it at all.

Okay, moving on from my "story of the day"... here is my verse of the day.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
This is my prayer for tomorrow. I just desire to comfort these children in anyway possible Jesus has provided me oh so much comfort. Also, I hate to offer this as a sort of "after thought" but I promise it isn't... There is a little boy named Jose who is two years old (maybe more) and yesterday he came into the center. He was in such terrible condition that he was miserable no matter what he did. He would just stare at the ceiling and moan in pain. We tried to put an IV in him ("we" meaning the nurse we brought along from the states) but he was so dehydrated, so tired, so skinny that he had to go to the hospital. Please be lifting him up in your prayers.