Self-Deservingness

Have you ever had a day where everything that happens isnt supposed to???
When I have those days I find myself saying "This is not how it is supposed to go!" "This is NOT what I had planned!" But I mean seriously! All the possible plans, even plan D doesnt go through... it's just a wreck. So what's the solution to a day like this? p.o.u.t.Yup, thats it... I pout. A(almost) 15 year old chick goes up to her room and pouts.

I was thinking why does this even happen? Shouldnt I be mature enough to handle it when things dont go my way? The answer is no... when you look at the heart issue. If I fix the heart issue though, my attitude is fixed, but the heart issue is not so easy to dismiss. I found that in these situations the word that is constantly going through my head is "deserve"... the heart issue= self-deservingness. Truly I deserve nothing...nothing. So why does that word echo in my head? O, because I am selfish and I want my life to line up with what I want. What's hard about this is the fact that I am a CHRIST follower... not an ANNA follower. In fact the bible says I must actually die to myself and live for Christ.. So not only am I listening to the issue in my heart I am not following Jesus in the life of 'denying myself' that he intented for me to live.
Then this heart issue goes even deeper, into the fact that I still have a constant battle of living a little bit of my life for me (sometimes more :-/) and not solely trusting Jesus in the perfect plan he has for me in my life.
So you see, What you might think is just a "reaction" to the day you had, if you further analyze it and look at your heart you will find that unfortunately that is just not the case.

*Update on my Life*