The End.

It was forever ago. Maybe a lifetime- or possibly a different one in its entirety. During the spell when night and day reversed and sleeplessness owned routine. He was her intrigue, everything about him. And she was to him more or less than will ever be revealed or recognized. He stepped with mystery, clasped his hands tightly together but only held the suffocating air of emptiness. Oh, those eyes- icey, chilling, but not quite frozen- annihilating boundaries. When they crumbled, her heart felt boundless, total freedom exhilarated the atmosphere. A frenzied flame to her naivety. Hind-sighting, the only view is half- nothing is full- the picture imprinted onto the ravines of her soul is half of a smile, half of a heart... a clear division of the outer and the inner. An unhappy mind in a place of joyous occasion is a doomed concoction of misery and misunderstanding. But what was replaying in that mind? Those eyes? Questioning herself, puzzle piecing together the very minutia that entailed her being; perhaps it was her. The quest to complete his smile ensued. Regrettably. Pointlessly. The secrets that inevitably lay within the sunken corner of his mouth unnerved her to the core- mystery waged its war inside her mind and the aftermath was cruel. But, the truth is, only half of his heart was ever placed in her small, inexperienced hands. Some would think this a sad story, I agree- it was. They stamped any togetherness with finality and titled it~ The End. Things end, that isn't bad... it's only tragic when a finality lays claim to an unknown, unsettled corridor of the human heart.

We Have A Wonderful Life...

These words, these simple, simple words. 

Spoken out of awe, wonder, sheer amazement and stun tens if not hundreds of times from the lips of my dad. The thing is, the statement is never puffed full of pride and accomplishment- no, not at all- all I hear when those words spill out of my father’s heart is thankfulness. The life we’ve been given is just that.. Given. A gift. A beautiful, undeserved one. 

Recently, I’ve heard these words everywhere- whenever I’m with my dad...and sometimes it feels like he ends almost every sentence expressing once again how awestruck he is. Maybe I’m so utterly shocked by the tone he uses, or the times he chooses to say it or just the simple peace it brings.... Or maybe I hear those words so often because I’m just as shocked, amazed and thankful as he is. 

My thankfulness is not only attached to the material commodities a nice life in America brings- those don’t even begin to start the list. Mostly, it’s the richness of relationship, the privilege of being so *known* and having such undeniable hope... And this sparked a journey to adopt.

Not unlike other areas of our life, our idea didn’t exactly succeed... Mom and Dad went through an entire Foster Care course in order to take kids from Wake County into our home upon a phone call that a home was needed. We were a certified family, our home was a certified house, now all we needed was to receive a call and we’d have a new kid in our home! ...if only anything like this worked that smoothly! 

Switch gears

It was during that month that our home and family inspections were occurring that the Lord set a beautiful little boy in my path. He didn’t stumble in my direction. He leapt toward me and hopped on my back- refusing to let go. I met him at Hope Reins, a non-profit ministry I volunteer for (blog here: www.hopereinsraleigh.blogspot.com) and the second I laid eyes on him I felt this childish sense of freedom and saw a deep sense of alone-ness. What an odd combination. Freedom. Alone-ness. Seems like it doesn’t fit? All it takes is one look into those uber dark brown eyes, one witness to his throw-my-arms-back-in-laughter release or one of his pearly white smiles to make you smitten and get you in a playful mood- he just does that. The feeling of alone-ness I saw, he later explained to me over poop scooping (remember, Hope Reins is a farm...not every job is glamorous ;)). His parents died within 3 months of each other. He was 5. His mom and dad were never married. Now, he was currently living at a boarding school.

Tears. 

There’s only one way to say it, he snuck into my heart, nestled himself real cozy and snuggled- it didn’t seem like he could ever leave. After my parents had the grand opportunity to meet him, they were soon smitten as well. That little trouble-maker just has his way with us! We okay’d it with his guardian to have him spend the night one weekend...and those weekends just never stopped. Pretty soon the questions of “Can you adopt me?” “I want to be home schooled!”  “Why can’t I always live here?” crept in, and great patience, prayer and petition became my necessities. 

I just want to clear one thing up, sometimes Jordan annoys me to pieces. His outgoing- always running- needing attention- thriving on people- can’t sit still and settle- thing can drive me bonkers. I get angry- I reprimand- I ignore. But then, he knocks on my door one hundred times, starts that mope-y shoulder look and I realize how much I absolutely adore him. 

I’ve seen my dreams come true, I never lost hope for my desire to have a little brother...and that’s just what he is to me. All the previous story to say, Jordan is officially moving in with the Foulkrod family... I can’t even comprehend my excitement currently. There is shock, worry and unabandoned JOY...dumbfounded that Jordan’s guardian, a sweet friend of his mom who died, has allowed this life- this wonderful life- to improve all the more. Life gets sweeter when more life is added. 

I know that many of you have prayed for this day to come, also...Thank you for your prayers!! I know that these crazy schemes only come from God and his plan and so of course, I’ll continue singing his praises all through the night :) As I continue posting stories on this blog (my learnings, mistakes, experiences, ect.) I am sure Jordan with be a common theme as I know I have so much to learn from him and having him in our home 24/7. I am beyond pumped. There’s a lot of new stuff for me to figure out. 

I guess Mom will never experience the feelings of empty-nesting because after Jordan graduates, who knows what’s next for these parents o’ mine? ;0)

“Now to him who is able to more than all we could ever ask or imagine!” “Every good thing comes from You!”

As Always,

Anna

False. Fake. Unreal. Untrue. What are you?

"As soon as I heard this, I tore my garment and my cloak and pulled hair from my head and beard and sat (utterly) appalled" "I sat appalled until evening sacrifice. Then I rose from my fasting and fell upon my knees and spread out my hands to the LORD my God, saying,
'O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.' Behold, we are before you in our guilt, for none can stand before you because of this."

Raise your hand if you are a believer. Alright, if you raised your hand... I have some statistics to share with you.
According questions born again believers have been asked, surveys say:
-49% say it's fine to live with a member of the opposite sex before you're married
-33% profess it's okay to abort a baby while still in the womb
-53% of Promise Keepers (a Christian men's group) visit porn sites every week
-close to half the believers surveyed admit they don't truly believe in Satan
-33% contend Jesus actually did sin while on earth
-77% of born again teens engage in Internet theft
-54% of believers don't believe in absolute moral truth
(All found from "God Has a Wonderful Plan For Your Life" by Ray Comfort)

I don't even know what to say. Maybe I'll start with, do you still have your hand raised? If you do and yet you agree with one of the statements above than I challenge you to actually study the scripture. Being a high school student, it's prime time to observe those whose parents claim Christianity. Let me tell you this, 88% of kids raised in *evangelical* Christian homes will NEVER return to church after they turn 18. Then the question is, will those kids still claim that the grace of Jesus Christ and his blood covers them? 61% of teens agree that a place in heaven can be earned by good works- so I guess the minute they start hopping down the "wrong road" they just give up? 8 out of 10 teens describe themselves as Christians. Where is that proof?

Oh, how easy it is to wear the name of "Christian" but the grave consequences that come in turn when one stands before the only righteous Judge and is told, "I never knew you" by the King of kings...that is not easy- that is hell.

The last thing I want to do is be insensitive or condemning. That's not the description this post is going for. But, I do have a question for those reading- After you made a "decision for Christ" what about you changed? How would you live differently if you didn't have the "faith" you do? Do you live in a way that requires any faith at all?

The introduction was written by an Old Testament prophet named Ezra... what a beautiful heart. Upon hearing Israel's faulty decision to adopt foreign ways (if you are a believer, this world is not your "home.." we are storing up treasure in heaven. not here. not now. this is our waiting period), Ezra's heart broke...even to the extreme of self mutilation. Extreme distress. Complete dismay. Utterly appalled. Then he went before the Lord crying out on Israel's behalf- burdened. In the same way, false converts have invaded our church to an extent that "believers" live in the ways of the world- maybe not 100% given over to the world, but their toes are definitely in the water. Believers, take your toes OUT of the water. Ezra calls the people to strength after rebuking their sins... he says, "Arise, for it is your task, and we are with you; be strong and do it." Arise, get up, stop your guilt-ful, shame-ful mourning. You have been given a job- be right before God. You are not alone. Therefore, stop making excuses admit your sin, repent and give it up.