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Found this today. I was stunned at the words I allowed myself to honestly type. Perhaps you can glean something from it as well as I did? A little background, a friend of mine went on a long mission's trip and this was something I was thinking about while he was gone. It never quite made it to him. But, maybe that's exactly the point.

Missions Trips are the worst kinds of trips. Not because they, like every other trip, end, but because they force you to lie to yourself. You come back to wherever you came from and you swear that you’ll be different... that the old ways have gone and that there is something so much better you can show your fellow homekind. But sooner or later, you come to the earth shattering conclusion that not only did you succumb to the pressures of a normal life in the states, but you fell into the lie you promised you never would and you slipped on the slippery slop of the mundane life you lived only a short while before. You get a glimpse of the beauty Jesus offers when you’re doing his work yet... You so easily get wrapped up in the patterns of day-to-day life, forgetting the precious little things you crossed-your-heart-hoped-to-die would never happen. Sure you receive the heads ups from you fellow hometowners who’ve experienced the same mountain top experience but instead of preparing yourself you roll your eyes telling them they simply “don’t understand.” But, let me tell you sweet follower of Jesus, they are telling the hard truth. It’s true that pretty soon you won’t spend a whole morning worshipping Jesus through the word and songs... Soon you’ll forget to stop and ask Jesus what he wants you to say to “this” person, you’ll become materialistic yet again, and I promise you you’ll waste the food that you once saw the lack for. You’ll become self centered and want to do what you want to do...when you want to do it and you will without a doubt only have a subtle memory of that beautiful mountain top that once held all the freedom and possibilities in the world. While I promise you all of that, at the same time I believe with all my heart that we have a witness to keep in our own towns. That people next door to you need Jesus just as much as the ones in China. Don’t let yourself forget that mountain top...in fact, when you realize it’s slipping from your view, chase it hard, reach for it and hold onto it- it’s what gets you through the tough stuff. It’s what makes you keep your faith. We ruin our witness constantly... I among the most frequent. But friend, what I’ve learned is we were born into ruining our witness and unfortunately, when we took our first breath we sealed the deal that we would do that for the rest of our lives..... The only thing we can do when we ruin it is to humbly accept the fact and seek forgiveness- by doing this, you grow even stronger and the Light in you shines even brighter. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is; don’t loose hope when that mountain top becomes out of reach... All of life is a season and that’s just another to add to the books. Nonetheless, carry yourself in such a way that you seek that same god-honoring feeling for the rest of your life. That mountain top was only your first in many relentless pursuits of the life Jesus has prepared for you. He still has much, much more for you to glean.. So, keep your ears open.

Love always, Anna